Years ago, I was fresh out of college . . . and with my drama degree in hand, I decided to up and move to New York City, unsure of what was next — but knowing that I had to do it and give it a shot.
But then reality set in.  In fact, it hit me over the head.  Standing in line after line, in the cold rain, in the dark alleys, always thinking, “This time it’ll be different . . . this time I’ll get the job.”
But every time . . . the loud faceless voice came from behind the lights and yelled, “GET OFF MY STAGE! …NEXT”.

Now THAT is rejection— Is it any wonder we all fear it?

Humiliated and discouraged…decided that I’d had enough.

I wasn’t myself anymore.  I was sad, I was tired, and I was hungry.

But there was NO WAY I was giving up on my dream of dancing, performing and choreographing. Then something inside told me, “You can make your dreams come true…just try it somewhere else.”

So, I did.

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HOW TO OVERCOME CARING WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU

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I crossed the river to New Jersey and started fresh.  
After experiencing so much, I decided it was time to create an environment where women didn’t have to experience the same rejection that I went through.

So I created choreographed dance/exercise routines held in Churches/ Temples/ Elks Clubs and Hotel conference rooms where I could have dance studios all over New Jersey and within a few months, I was leading hundreds of women to find the dancer inside themselves.

They were able to express who they were, in a safe place, without ANY fear of rejection.
They were getting fit and being happy with no outside judgment; pure bliss for them on the dance floor of life.

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HOW THIS APPLIES TO YOU

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I want you to experience the same freedom that every single woman in those rooms felt.  It is time to cast off the chains that have enslaved your mind and your body for far too long.  It’s time to ditch the burden that weighs heavily on you each and every day.

This is about freedom with your body.

And because my life’s mission is to help women rid themselves of the chains and burdens that enslave their minds and bodies . . .
. . . I’m putting together a small, intimate, tightly-knit group of women who are ready to make that transition — from slavery to freedom.
If not now, when?

Sign up for a conversation with me (where you learn more about this sustainable, fun system).

Body Knowledge System® is a sustainable, fun system where you learn and practice tools and techniques where you craft life’s dances in all areas of your life to happily dance on the stage of Life!  Find out more!

Come aboard! Its time!  Make an appointment with me to have a conversation to make sure this path is right for you now.

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The quality of questions I’ve been receiving has been incredible and leads me beyond the easy answers from my body knowledge into your body’s knowledge. Many of the questions cover topics found in the Table of Contents of my book, Body Knowledge System®.

Here are your questions answered:

Q. What do you mean by “practice”? Is it about communicating with your body?

A. Practice means a habit, an ongoing exchange of information between me and my body. Since my first love is dancing, one form of communication between my body and me is spontaneous motion. Moving my body quiets my brain and allows me to hear my body’s information. PLUS it brings us both JOY!

-Penny S, Newark, DE

Q. Events? Environment? And my body?

A. Those three words appear to have no association with each other—until you acknowledge the impact the first two have on the third, your body. The only control any of us has is over our self and how we respond to events in our environment. Stuff happens, and our response determines the outcome. Your body’s intelligence guarantees a successful outcome—only when you access it.

-Ella F,

Portland, OR

Q. My environment is beyond my control for now, so how can I apply your system to make it my system?

A. Your environment can support or defeat you if you are unaware of or ignore the affect it has on your body. Women particularly have environmental changes forced upon them with their various roles as professionals, homemakers, hosts, and guests. As with everything else in your personal body knowledge system, benefiting from your environment begins with communicating with your body’s intelligence.

-Gina M, Paris, IN

In order to solve a problem, first you have to identify it as a problem.

As a special invitation to you, I’m putting together a small, intimate group of 9 people and together, I’ll show you exactly how to:

• lose weight (and keep it off),
• get off your meds (for good),
• and how to enjoy every moment of every day . . .

So you lose weight, have greater esteem, feel lighter, and live where movement is part of your day

This is an exclusive invite so there’s only one way into the group. And that’s to have a conversation with me!

I’ve got a few time slots available here. This is on a first-come, first-serve basis, and I expect these slots to fill very quickly. Make your appointment now to get on your way to becoming a better you and in the meantime, take a look at what you could be learning!

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Here is a sample of more conversations I have been having with those who are experiencing the Healthy Lifestyle Resource Kit

Q.  What’s the difference between my “body brain” and my “brain brain”?

A.  When my client referred to her “body brain” on the audio, she referred to her body’s intelligence— the essence of my system.  When we respect our body’s innate intelligence; learn to access and share it; learn to communicate back and forth, we will co-create a body knowledge system that works for you.

 -Dana S, Parker Ranch, CO

Q. What do you mean by “separation”, “estrangement” between me and my body?  I can’t go anywhere without her…

A. Nor can I, however,  I am ALWAYS CONSCIOUS of her presence where ever, whenever we are, and whatever we are doing while we’re doing it. Her support, her friendship, her input creates the life we both love!

-Leslie L, Frisco, TX

Q. When you talk about personal Styles, do you mean behavior?

A. Yes, and choices, activities, decisions you make based on so many factors genetically and environmentally influenced.  Some of us are RE-ACTORS who try the latest fad diet, exercise craze, shoe style foisted upon us by the media. Others are PRO-ACTORS, the pioneers, the seekers who keep trying any and everything until they find something that works—for a while. The Styles express your natural selection, intrinsic solutions, in other words, WHAT WORKS FOR YOU!

-Mildred Q, Philadelphia, PA

My system teaches you how to identify your style in every area of your life, and then how to incorporate it into your life. One Style does NOT FIT ALL, and may not apply to every area in your life…find out which style fits each activity with Your Body Knowledge System.

Go here and get it now!

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When you apply the Body Knowledge System®, you and your body will host a very successful event with confidence, because you are doing it your way! When you obligated yourself to provide the celebration, you owe it to yourself to celebrate with your guests. When you have a great time, a glorious time; your guests will share in your spirit, especially the affection everyone has for the HONORED GUEST.

1. Become the generous hostess who provides all your guests people with all of the food, frolic and fun but please yourself and your body first—
2. Work WITH your body when making decisions as to the Who-What-Where-When-How of the event. What makes her feel good, makes you feel good, too.  Fun for you, means fun for your guests!
3. You are NOT responsible for anyone’s expectations, only your actions

No Early Bird Specials, Chez Stephanie!

I truly enjoy entertaining guests in my home. Rhythm (my body) and I take great delight giving dinner parties, because we schedule “Me Time” to take care of ourselves first.  After spending the morning giving to myself first, by the time the first guest arrives, Rhythm and I welcome them into our home in eager anticipation of giving to others.

PS: Why stop the celebration when the door closes behind the last guest?

Dance Your Practice and Practice Your Dance to keep the spirit going, and the spirits flowing.

If you would like to have a conversation with me, please contact me, or if you would like to be in a free group tele-class, learn more here.

Share Tags: Body Relationship, Dancing, Life Balance, Mind Body Connection

FACT:  Events occurring in June contain four of the top ten anxiety inducing situations (marriage, family changes, debt and travel).  When you’re stressed, your body has one of these three reactions:

• Freeze, Flee, or Fight. 

Regardless of your specific response to stress inducers, your body’s reaction is always an extra dose of cortisol which slooooooowwwwwssssss your metabolism almost to a stop.

The result? FAT!

Celery or Chocolate Éclairs: regardless of what you eat, when you are stressed, you will get the most “bang” possible from every bite.

How ironic that when you want to look your best for an upcoming event, your body betrays you.

No! NOT TRUE! It is YOU who betrays your BODY!

The Body Knowledge System® is the Stress Solution for Event Anxiety.

1)      Body talk keeps it real.

2)      Comfortable clothes create confidence, enhance enjoyment, and reduce stress!

3)      Make each event easy on yourself…you are a guest, not the main attraction.

Client Story

Dahlia felt her stomach tighten as soon as she saw the return address embossed on the creamy linen envelope containing an invitation to her niece’s elaborate June wedding in Beverly Hills, CA. Aware of the upcoming event for months, she had dreaded this moment due to the family’s expectations.  Her hand shook as she stared at the RSVP card. Taking a deep breath, she reached for her copy of the Body Knowledge System®. Flipping it open to page 288, she read the introduction to the “Events & You” chapter. Her heartbeat slowed as she continued reading the reassuring words and the notations she had made in the margins. By page 308, she felt her smile return as she reviewed her notes addressing this event. Those notes were a product of her rediscovery of a real relationship with her body and the deep friendship that had been developing since she began to practice the Body Knowledge System® with her coach, Stephanie Wood, PPC.

Remember: Whether it’s a family event, or a networking opportunity, or a party with total strangers, or people you really don’t want to be with, BKS has a hot flash for you:  JUST SAY NO, THANK YOU!  And feel your anxiety slip away…taking the cortisol with it.

As an alternative, send a gift, and spend the day at the beach, the movies, or with a good book.

If you would like to have a conversation with me, please contact me, or if you would like to be in a free group tele-class, learn more here.

Share Tags: Body Image, Body Relationship, Eating Healthy, Reducing Stress

Re-invent yourself by re-connecting to your body.

This month marks more than turning a page on the calendar.  October signifies a shift in the seasons, too.  In the Fall…

1. The leaves change color
2. TV shows change time slots
3. The students change grades, and sometimes schools.

 And you change into warmer, and sometimes larger, clothes.

 Mother Nature controls the firs point, network executives control the second, and teachers control the third.

You control your clothing choices. Regardless of the season, often you achieve your body’s comfort zone with your clothing choices.

For the sun worshippers: With your last swim, you put away your bathing suit. You replace last summer’s cover-up with cable sweaters, baggy sweats, and swirling skirts. You smile in relief with the knowledge your days of exposing yourself to the scrutiny of the others on the beach or at the pool are over…for now.

For the sun avoiders: You relax in the knowledge there will be no more invitations to pool parties to regret, no more hiding in your home or office until it is “safe” to transition to another environment, no more squinting, sneezing from allergies, and no more sweating.

Fall is an ideal transition between the two extremes of summer’s and winter’s uncontrollable temperatures as it eases you from thin, light weight to thick, heavy weight clothing. Prior to covering her up, take advantage of this shift in seasons to get to know your body…before she goes into hiding on her way to hibernation for the winter.

Fall is the time to declare a truce with your body.

We practice this in the Body Knowledge System®

Here are some reminders but please feel free to add more by contacting me.

• STOP covering her up i.e. Allow her to breathe with pride
• STOP confronting her in the mirror i.e. As you see her let her know how much you love her
• STOP corrupting her with excess i.e. Practice thinking of her needs first
• STOP condemning her with every thought and word i.e. Remember she hears you, be careful

Re-invent yourself and reacquaint yourself with your body, your Buddy. Your body is there to help you, not hinder you. Your body works very well WITH you, FOR you, and always in your best interest. Getting to know her comes with body knowledge. Familiarize yourself with her as she renews her relationship with you. Teamwork, partnership, and support between you and your body accomplish miracles.

A new moon, a new month, a new season leads to a new you. Go with the flow of the calendar and change yourself with the season.

Re-invent yourself and reacquaint yourself with your body, your Buddy. Your body is there to help you, not hinder you.

Before September’s shift from summer to fall, we enjoyed that last burst of heat and sunshine present in Indian summer, the last kiss of the sun prior to the rains and snows of the upcoming seasons. Regardless of where you live, your climate, your urban or rural environment, when summertime fades into fall, the heat recedes into the past season.

Summertime heat affects you and your body in many ways. For some of you the warmth is welcome as you peel off layers of clothing to welcome the weather. Some of you peel off extra pounds from the winter hibernation, too. Others fill their days with good intentions to fit into last year’s bathing suit, then eventually give up and buy the next larger size when August fades into September. Labor Day signifies the swimming season is coming to a close, so all those good intentions fade with the colors of the leaves and you’ll lose those pounds, get in shape for next year’s swim season.

Part of your procrastination is a result of the warmer weather’s effect on your motivation. There’s a reason tropical climates are more relaxed than seasonal ones. As the sunshine warms us naturally, it also mellows us to not take ourselves so seriously. Vitamin D3 comes from the sun and is known to affect our physical and psychological well- being. In northern climates, physicians recommend supplementing our diet with D3 during the other seasons.

Increased temperatures create excessive perspiration. We need to drink more water to maintain our physical and mental health. Dehydration is not only depressing, but also dangerous to our well-being. Since your body is mostly fluid, when you lose too much you lose vital minerals as well and it weakens every aspect of you. Your immune system becomes unable to fight off infections without the minerals you’ve lost in your increased perspiration.

Increased humidity in the summer can also take a lot out of us—not just moisture. As the water content of the air increases, so does the swelling of your extremities: feet, ankles, and hands, fingers. Perhaps the number on your scale remains within 5 pounds of your desired weight, but your clothing seems to shrink as it covers moist, sticky skin. Increased humidity brings your sunny spirit into the shadows, as if you retreat in order to return to your comfort level.

Skin damage from the sun’s rays age us prematurely and is a known source for cancers. Even though the sensation of warmth on our skin elevates our spirit as it colors our skin, too much of any good thing can be toxic. Whether sun worshipping is a part of your daily summertime routine or available only over the weekend during breaks from your office work, it is one of the pleasures available to us during that cheerful season. Vacations, road trips, beach picnics, long weekend holidays, family reunions are all part of that season of expansion, growth, and relaxation for some of us.

Specifically, like flowers some of us open to welcome the rays of the sun on our skin. Others detest the results of summertime heat on the way we look, the way we feel, and the way we move. Some of you bounce from bed, climb into your bathing suit or sundress, slather yourself in sunscreen, and then skip outside with the early rays of the day. Others pull down the blinds, turn down the a/c, and reach for a cold drink to wait for the relief sunset brings.

Summertime heat and all that sunshine can energize you if you respond well to it, or it can drain and depress you by restricting you to the darkness of indoors. The seasons change and regardless of how you feel about summer, you resist change because you are a human being.

Change is the only constant; and seasonal change is as radical as the climate you live and work in. For those in the tropics the change is hardly noticeable, for those in more temperate climates, the transitions between seasons can be subtle or radical depending on the current weather patterns.

Re-invent yourself and reacquaint yourself with your body, your Buddy. Your body is there to help you, not hinder you.

Your body works very well WITH you, FOR you, and always in your best interest. Getting to know her comes with body knowledge. Familiarize yourself with her as she renews her relationship with you. Teamwork, partnership, and support between you and your body accomplish miracles.

A new moon, a new month, a new season leads to a new you.

Go with the flow of the calendar and change yourself with the season.

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Ok, you know all the benefits of moving your body regularly with fun and enjoyment…and you still are not putting exercise into your lifestyle.

So let’s experiment with moving your body with a new perception.

It’s about forming that relationship with your body…give him/her a name…just so that you see him/her as a separate identity. In this way you acknowledge and cater to her/his needs.

For example, if I came over your house as a guest for one week…and specifically told you I needed support to move my body and take her out for a walk and do some weight lifting daily…wouldn’t you make sure I moved forward with that intention? Of course you would and without any

hesitation!

So this is the same formula you can use with your body. See her as a separate identity and give her exactly what she deserves!

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The most important relationship in your life is the one you were born with: you and your body. At birth you were one with your body.

Now?

Not so much.

So as an infant when you were hungry, tired, cold, wet, gassy or grumpy you expressed yourself immediately to alert your caregivers to pay attention and “fix it”, make it better immediately!  Sometimes your body’s advocacy brought immediate and appropriate responses to fulfill your need, relieve your discomfort, and make you feel better. Other times your body’s alerts brought little or no response from your caregivers. Regardless of the response, your body’s actions always expressed your comfort level…your relationship was pure, direct and truthful. You and your body were one, a unit always acting in your best interest for mutual benefit.

As you matured, your body’s communications to you were censored by your caregivers. Part of being “socialized” meant ignoring your body’s needs in favor of what was “expected” of you and your behavior.  As the process progressed, your separation from your body increased as you learned to deny her input, ignore her physical sensations, and her “gut” feelings.  Without being aware of the immediate honest feedback from your body, your estrangement widened until your best friend became your worst enemy.

At first you focused on what you considered imperfections you saw in the mirror, and then you covered them up with clothing, make-up, hair styles—or plastic surgery. Regardless of your efforts, your feelings remained the same. Your attitude, your perception toward your body increased your dissatisfaction, your disappointment, and resentment perhaps leading to hatred for parts or all of her.  Your body’s response to the increasing abandonment by her best friend is to make the situation worse, by expressing exactly what disturbs you about her—only this time with exaggeration.

Do the words ‘yo-yo’ dieting have meaning?

Your body is as unique as you are. His or her personality is as individual as you are. Your life experiences helped mold you to become the person you are today. Your body also experienced the events, celebrations, relationships, challenges and opportunities that make up your history. Your body’s experience differed from yours as did his or her reaction to those experiences. Were you ever aware of the difference? If so, how did your body’s reaction affect you? Take a moment to remember a significant event in your life and then consider your physical reaction to it.  Did your body support you or did he or she betray you? It doesn’t matter if the experience was “positive” or “negative” only that it affected you physically as well as emotionally or psychologically. And sometimes the physical reaction was expected because of the quality of the experience, i.e. excitement and joy at your wedding. And sometimes your body reacted in an opposite way from what you expected, i.e. nausea, headache and chills at your wedding. (So the marriage ended in divorce within the year).

The Introduction…It’s never too late to get to know your body as the personality he or she is, because it’s never too late to save the relationship that began at birth.  An awareness of your connection, a willingness to risk befriending the physical self you perhaps have ignored, abused, or simply dismissed since your youth. No need to apologize for your absence, since your body has been, is, and will always be your best friend and BFFs (Best Friends Forever) accept each other for who they are with understanding, not judgment or criticism.

Become aware of your body for an hour, a day, a week. After you are comfortable with your body, that means acceptance without judgment or criticism for your body’s shape, condition, or current health, introduce yourself.

Welcome your body back into your life on a minute-to-minute, hour-to-hour, every-day basis. Listen for your body’s input into your choices, decisions, and timing.  Note what happens when you return to trusting your “gut” rather than the “chatter” from your ego.

When you heed the physical input from your body, what happens?

When you ignore the message, what happens?

When your ego trumps your gut, what happens?

“Getting to Know You, Getting to Know All About You…” (Rogers & Hammerstein, The King and I)

Awareness is always the first step to ending the estrangement with your body.  An introduction requires a name. And like most names, it can change as your relationship changes, becomes deeper, more trusting, more reliable, more expressive. Communication continues through conversation. Part of the conversation is the dance when the magic of motion brings it all together.

This is the core concept of the Body Knowledge System®, my successful sustainable solution to every body’s life goals, desires, and achievements. I developed this over two decades of health and wellness practice and training.  My clients revealed to me my own secret: ending the estrangement with your body, as I had. Now it’s your turn to end your estrangement with your body and get what you want in life: healthy body, healthy mind, and healthy spirit in order to enjoy love and life to the fullest.

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I get a lot of questions on “What is Cortisol and Why is it Making Me Fat?”

Well, cortisol is a hormone and when stressed these levels rise. Cortisol will increase blood sugar levels, blood pressure, and suppresses the immune system, which is part of the body’s fight-or-flight response. It has two effects on weight. At first it suppresses the appetite in order to do battle ‘fight or flight’, but then afterwards the cortisol will increase your appetite and store fat trying to get your body back into what it thinks is balance. It is thinking you should have used up the extra carbohydrates and fat while ‘fleeing’. It can also slow down your metabolism.

So you can be doing everything right as far as eating and exercise and still not be loosing weight do to stress and cortisol.

Here are some things to consider …

When your body is holding emotional and physical stress….your body is in defense so it produces again a hormone called cortisol. This will not harm you and what it will do is make your body hold onto unnecessary weight and make you feel ‘heavy.’

Now, with practice you can help yourself. You have to move with your body and acknowledge what she/he is feeling. Move your body. In this way the feeling will be less intense, and therefore move out of your body (thereby feeling lighter)…and when you feel lighter you make better choices in all areas of your life.

Cultivating optimum health is a way to support the intelligence of the body. When your body and emotions function optimally, you are better equipped to turn around the body’s stress drug—cortisol—converting it rather than storing it. Maintaining a state of mental and emotional well being boosts your immune system. When your immune system isn’t working properly, your body holds on to cortisol, increasing the tendency to store fat. The body thinks she needs to fill herself up to respond to stress. If you keep developing internal health, other aspects of health are likely to follow.

Make sure you are doing the right things to keep you healthy and as stress-free as possible.

Let me know if you found this post helpful.

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“Ooooo!” Frances, my client, exclaimed while practicing the Body Knowledge System® Dance as she released the anger she felt for her ex-husband during the final stages of their divorce. When I asked her how that compared to the chronic headaches and abdominal distress she had suffered over the past year, she giggled. “Those were ‘ouches’, this is release.”

In this case, “dance” is defined as motion. We believe the motion expressed in physical action reflects the emotions inspiring it. If those emotions are joyful, the dance reflects their happiness. If, on the other hand, the emotional energy behind the movement is less than positive—the physical exertion allows release of that negativity, which in turn releases the physical pain that resulted from it.

Traditional and alternative health and wellness experts seek drug free methods to cope with their patients’ chronic pain from injuries, illness, or their imagination. Involving breathing, heat/cold therapies, drugs, aromas, massage, pain management specialists run down their menu of treatments depending upon their focus on what works for them and their patients. As medicine became more specialized on individual body parts in the last century, practitioners lost sight of the whole person. The previous narrow approach still applies to a broken bone, but only applies to back pain if the patient’s back is broken. With the dawn of the new millennium, medicine expanded their perspective to a holistic approach to treatment of the individual.

When treating pain, every expert considers the source. Pain is our body’s early warning system that something is wrong. The challenge is to locate the problem. Often the source has no physical origins, and even when it does, once the physical problem is “cured”, the pain can continue. When developing the Body Knowledge System® I became aware of the importance of constant communication with your body to interrupt and stop the cycle of pain associated with personal challenges—whether they are physical, emotional, or spiritual.

When my clients, and practitioners, seek trustworthy guidance for any life choice, the first place they look is to their bodies. They begin the conversation with movement in their Body Knowledge Dance. This movement is as individual as the partnership performing it. My client and her body have developed their movements over the course of renewing the intimate relationship they enjoyed at birth. Through ending the estrangement with their bodies, my clients can go directly to the source of their pain when performing the Body Knowledge Dance.

Your key to success is through the link of your visualized intention with the movement in your dance. “The BKS® is harmony. It brings body, mind and spirit together.” (Page 12, Body Knowledge System®, An Awesome Intelligence, 2010)

People in harmony with their bodies seldom experience pain in the physical sense. On the rare occasion they do, their open communication with their bodies allows them to process their pain and release it through movement. After practicing the Body Knowledge System® Dance, body-mind-spirit balance is restored and the BKS® dancer glides gracefully through life—their life, their way.

This Dance of Motion is great to do to release any physical or emotional pain you are experiencing. This unique method is easy to learn and fun No need to keep suffering.

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