How to Attract Your Better Body Image with Coaching

Everyone knows the first answer to a personal question is rarely the best answer rather it’s the answer that comes off the top of your head when asked anything about yourself. For instance, “How are you?”, “Fine, or good, or OK” are the standard responses whether we have a fever of 101*, just received a speeding ticket, or are nervous about an upcoming job interview. To get to the central issue requires a few follow up questions, i.e. “really?”, “You don’t look ‘ok’”, or “Why are you sweating? It’s chilly in here.”

Your Best Friend would ask you those follow up questions. I know one thing for sure, when talking to yourself about your body, there is NEVER a follow up question, because you think you already know all of the answers about your own body, and some of those answers leave you feeling bad and therefore are not right.

In my years of coaching experience, I understand the hesitation in prying into those nooks and crannies of a painful past, shameful self-image, or reluctance to change behavior. However, if improving your body positive image was easy, there wouldn’t be all of those articles, interviews, speeches from celebrities and others about body pressure to be perfect. Not a perfect you, rather a perfect beauty like those you see in the media.

BASTA! ARRETTE! STOP!

Few of us have the courage or confidence to stand alone against the social pressures aimed at selling us perfection through various products and services, and yet, when we buy into that marketing, the results are like putting lipstick on a cat. The lipstick may be a beautiful color, applied artfully, and enhances the skin tone—but the lips still belong to a cat! It’s not enough to succumb to other people’s standards for other people for you to achieve confidence; the only way to have the presence confidence inspires is to discover it within yourself. That’s where your body has the knowledge to create the poise you seek. Now all you need do is access it.

The good news is you are not alone. You are not alone in your frustration to elevate your confidence through a better body image; not alone in feeling shame around those extra pounds; not alone in the fear that arrives with every new candle on your birthday cake; and not alone as soon as you make a habit of including your body in your everyday life. I mean learning to talk to her, listen to her, and share with her on a regular basis.

Until you master your personal body knowledge system, you will be missing all the benefits your body brings to everyday of your life. And that’s where a Coach comes in to guide you, support you, and help you accept yourself for the wonderful unique individual you are! When done well, it’s not a painful process rather it’s a delightful journey to self-discovery.

“And what else?” is there to the process…

“And what else?” is the body positive question to ask when you want to get to clarity. It’s the one question you should be asking yourself, and probably aren’t, in order to clarify how you and your body want to be in the world. Using the Law of Attraction, the practitioner identifies what she really wants for herself through the contrast to clarity process as it applies only to herself, not to some idealized version of someone else.

When you accept your body as your friend, in fact your bff (best friend forever), it’s a short step to feeling good about your appearance.

Friendship implies acceptance, as well as a sincere desire to want what’s in your friend’s best interest. Applying the contrast to clarity Law of Attraction principle works when you arrive at the answer that satisfies both of you, you and your body.

To achieve your positive body image faster:

• Include your body in the conversation
• Include the powerful question, “And What Else?” into the process
• Practice feeling good about yourself daily

PS: what begins on the inside, shows on the outside.

I encourage you to include your body in your search for clarity.

After attending my popular class by phone, ‘Resist exercise? Want to know Why?,’ my client Martha called to ask me to help her find an exercise or exercises that would work for her, long term.

“It’s not about “Just Do It!” I said quoting Nike’s famous slogan, “It’s about asking your body what she wants to do to accomplish the same thing.” I truly believe that when you learn to ask your body what she wants, the two of you will get on the same page, and start achieving the things you desire!

Using the contrast to clarity principle to narrow the possibilities, getting the answers from Martha and her body, we determined what movement suited BOTH of them to achieve a positive body image.

For instance:

• What movement makes you feel good?
• Do you prefer working out alone, with another or others?
• When do you enjoy exercise?

Let’s take the first question: What makes you feel good?

1. Sitting, and what else?
2. Walking, and what else?
3. Stretching, and what else?
4. Floating, and what else?
5. Scuba, and what else?

Soon, it became apparent that Martha was not into anything involving exertion, or sweat or at least, her answers didn’t indicate “exercise” in the physical sense of the word. So, it was time to include her body in the conversation.

After getting used to the idea of her body as separate, an equal, and full of great advice, Martha asked her body the same question:

What movement makes you feel good?

1. Moving gracefully, and what else?
2. Dancing, and what else?
3. Winning!, and what else?
4. Swimming underwater, and what else?
5. Body tired from productive motion, i.e dancing, tennis, Scuba

Aha! Martha’s body held the final answer for both of them: Productive movement, with or without an element of competition.

The second part of the important question is…..Listening for an answer

In personal and professional relationships, we all know the first answer is not the only answer, and rarely the best answer. That’s why remembering the question – And what else? as a follow up question always provides deeper answers until you reach the heart of the issue.

Listening for your body’s answer to the powerful question, “And What Else?” requires another shift in your perspective. It forces you to listen for the answer from your body rather than override her input with your first, second, or third response. Where your body image comes from is more than your thoughts and feelings about your body, it begins within your body and it’s time or past time you begin to listen to her to get to the final answer for both of you.

As comfortable as you are being in control of your life, include your body by asking her this follow up question so that you are forced to relinquish your power over her as you await her answer.  Better body image coaching is not an either/or, black/white, yes/no process between two opposing entities who have not communicated with each other since childhood. Rather it is a process of reestablishing the intimate relationship between you and your body you had as an infant—the most effective and efficient way to activate the Law of Attraction.

The answers to this question are between you and your very best friend, your body. So there’s no need to shy away from the difficult questions about what you want for your body, and perhaps are “afraid” to ask? The basic principle of improving your body image through coaching is total trust and ease of communication between you and your body. The openness between whatever question you ask of your body and the answers you receive will create the positive energy to actually accomplish your basic goal: Body Confidence.

Look Forward to Attracting, then Announcing Your Positive Body Image

Working with a body image expert coach can provide a short cut to the process of accepting your body as your Best Friend. Allowing the coach to repeat “And what else?” until you provide the real answer to the question in the safety of the relationship eases the transition to establishing the intimate relationship you and your body had at birth. Working with your body you understand what you do not want (contrast) and you become clear on what you do want and that clarity attracts it easily. When you include your body in the process, you double the positive energy behind your unified efforts to reach the same goal.

The simple tool, the question ‘and what else?’ allows you to go beyond the superficial into the heart of your desires, not someone else’s desires for you. Acknowledge your individuality when applying the Law of Attraction to achieving what you want out of life, when your goals are authentic and true to you, that positive energy glows!

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I have been exploring the notion of creating a better body image and have become more aware of how advertising influences our self-esteem with our bodies with negative and positive messages.

My questions to you are:

• Has your body been sending you messages about health issues?
• Are you just experiencing day to day aches and pains?
• Or, do you accept the way you look and the other relationships in your life are flowing?

Whether it is aches and pains or joyful moments, let’s go on this better body image journey together and explore techniques and tools for creating good self-esteem.

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The Truth about Self Esteem

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Self Esteem: it is a way of thinking, feeling and acting that implies that you accept, respect, trust, and believe in yourself.

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Consider these beliefs

(from Body Knowledge System®)

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• Respect your own uniqueness
• Be your own Best Friend (treat yourself like you would treat others)
• When outside environmental challenges come your way , you maintain consistency with your own values that make you happy
• You deserve everything that makes you happy
• You learn to practice confidence to do things your way

This is wonderful to read on paper but let’s start using tools and techniques to practice and make these beliefs a part of your daily lifestyle.

A technique you can practice right away is the Body Knowledge Dance®. You can do this in your living room or in your head.

1. Set an intention in words. For example: I love being in tune with my body and what she is telling me.
2. Picture your intention
3. Now literally “move with the words” (just move freely)
4. Imagine what you are wearing and the music you are hearing in your mind
5. Commit this dance to memory so you can dance the movement in your head

The Body Knowledge System® has been created to address your body Image issues and help you practice on a daily basis simple and fun techniques to boost your self-esteem. Self-esteem and better body image go hand in hand

Today, I invite you to answer three questions. Answering these questions can give you a better sense of how you can create the self- esteem that will guide you to do all the things you set out to do.

Remember, my system is sustainable because it is NOT a ‘one size fits all.’ You create your own better body image on your own terms and in your own way.

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Hey there,

It’s Coach Stephanie, and this week I’m here to tell you that Body Talk 101 (from Body Knowledge System ®) is NOT the same thing as Body Language.

If you’re interested in learning more about Body Language, you can choose from hundreds of books on Amazon that cover that topic.

But what we’re doing here is Body Talk 101, from my Body Knowledge System®.

Allow me to elaborate.

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BODY TALK 101 BASICS (BKS®)

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Body Talk refers to the direct exchange of information between you and your body.

Your body is your best friend, and conversational Body Talk® gives you a way of communicating with your body to bring about immediate, tangible, material, and positive CHANGE!

But first you must (re)establish the intimate contact with your body that you were born with….

So let’s cover the basics of how you do my BKS ® Body Talk exercise:

This week’s BKS ® Wisdom Within teaches us about Body Talk…

• Body Talk refers to the direct exchange of information between you and your body.
• Body Talk is sharing & listening to hopes & wishes with your best friend, your body.
• Body Talk inspires Body Action to guarantee Body Confidence

WAIT!

No additional bullet today. Instead of reading about taking action, why not schedule a time that I can help you practice this Body Talk technique?

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THE BKS® TALK IS MEANT TO BE EXPERIENCED

SO THIS IS WHAT WE DO NEXT

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This is important because with me as your Coach, we can facilitate this conversation so that the two of you are truly clear with your intentions for both of you. It is this conversation in the moment which makes it truly profound.

The Body Talk Basics are meant to be experienced, not just read about! So click the link below to get started with your no-cost conversation with me.

Click here to get started .

Why not also join our online community?

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This online community creates a safe place to regain your Self Esteem through a sustainable system of body knowledge and your body’s wisdom. It’s a lot of fun!

Here’s how to join this private, no-cost google + group:

1. Use this form to contact me and enter “Google Plus Group” in the comments.

2. Then look for my personalized invitation to join us! [Body Confidence Community with Stephanie Wood]

Talk to you soon,

Stephanie

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When you see your reflection in a mirror, you evaluate the image looking back at you based on the feelings you have at that moment. Those feelings determine your reaction to what you see. Your reflection, your image, is a result of your feelings about your appearance, not the objective image in the mirror.

You may think your reflection is about your physique, your body when in fact that’s only part of story.  The real story comes from the rest of you, within you.

Before looking at yourself in another mirror, before stepping on another scale, before considering radical diets or exercise programs, before scheduling surgery, please consider alternatives to your negative reaction at your reflection.

The next time you look in a mirror, I want you to see yourself in a completely wonderful way.

So, where do we begin?

If you’re reading this, because you’re reading this, you are ready to elevate your self-esteem, raise your body image, and share your special self with the world.  Please take this brief Body Image Survey.  It may surprise and enlighten you.

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Calling all . . .

Chiropractors / Nutritionists / Personal trainers / Holistic practitioners / Massage therapists / Energy workers / Healers / Naturopaths / Wellness Coaches.

This announcement is for those of you who enhance the health of others and yourself.

I’m looking for women business owners who want to grow their business and want to keep their existing clients and attract new clients consistently.

I’m launching a special program to help Wellness Professionals use my Body Knowledge System® with their clients and I need your smart feedback.

This survey is short (about 5 minutes) and it would be SOOO helpful to me to have your insights.

In exchange, you’ll receive a free consultation with me.  We’ll comb through your answers and strategize for how you can best grow your business and keep your clients.

Go here and answer a few questions now.

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Did you know that your body wants to talk to you? This is a conversation started a long time ago. Your Body Knowledge began at birth but time and technology throughout our lives have silenced those ongoing conversations.

Those intimate exchanges are necessary for our growth, maintain our health, and make good life choices. That kind of communication enhances our well-being every day of our life. When we allow distractions, or interference from societal demands, or look outside of ourselves for answers to challenges, we regret our actions based on the answers we receive from web searches, psychics, television “experts,” or APPS.

When we replace our gut reaction with information gathered from impersonal sources, we discover “one size” rarely fits all, particularly you or me! These digital resources are universally available through our advanced technology, but

• Can we rely on the information?
• Are the suppliers well informed, knowledgeable, and experienced?
• Should you trust un-verified data?

There is one reliable resource available to each of us, all of us; and it is on demand, 24/7/365. Technology provides overwhelming amounts of information. Our

challenge is to discover what applies to us.

Objective data rarely substitutes for knowledge gained from our best friend, our body.

With the first breath we draw, we are at one with our bodies. The body feels and we react. Our body responds to our basic needs for security, shelter, food, and water with an immediate direct expression of our discomfort. Traditional “normal” birthing establishes a direct communication link, first between the infant and his body, and then between the infant and his primary caregiver, his mother. The mother provides for her child’s every need—often before the baby expresses hunger, thirst, or chill.

Instead of clear stimulus and response between warm sentient human beings, we insert a filter. The intrusion of technology in our relationships, particularly this primary one, alters the course of the rest of our lives…and not in a good way.

In so-called “primitive” cultures, the attachment between mother and infant lasts as long as instinct requires. Technology brought us a replacement for the natural nursing process with the invention of a nipple on a bottle. Hard glass or plastic filled with mother’s milk or formula places the infant one step away from his or her mother, regardless of who holds the child during the feeding. As the child matures and is capable of sustenance from a “propped” bottle and eventually a portable bottle, he or she becomes aware of a separation between his or her “self” and the sentient body containing the “self”.

Traditions develop from successful practices within a culture. When our bodies experienced hunger, approximately every 3-4 hours, we ate enough food to satisfy our body’s need to maintain our health. Our sleep cycles evolved from the sunrise and sunset. Without artificial light and with the hard work to ensure our survival, our bodies dictated the amount of sleep we needed every day. There is no word for “insomnia” in primitive cultures, as sleep disturbances do not exist; human beings slept when tired, awoke when rested, and filled their days productively.

The more “socialized” we become as technological advances replace traditional solutions to human activities, the effect creates challenges to the individuals taking advantage of this progress. Time saving, energy saving, and in some cases cost saving, technology enriches our lives. At the same time, it deprives the individual of the most reliable guidance system available to him or her: their body, their instinct…their body knowledge.

Isn’t time to get to know your body’s knowledge to help you navigate your body’s intelligence to make the best choices ever?

This was an excerpt from the Body Knowledge System© playbook. If you would like to read more, click here.

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Tomorrow morning pay close attention to your cat, your dog, your gerbil, your hamster, or your ferret—as soon as they open their eyes to greet the day.  The first thing every mammal does after waking is to systematically stretch every muscle, elongating tendons, and breathing fresh air into every cell.

What did you do this morning?

Slap your alarm clock until the noise stopped, throw yourself out of bed, and stagger to the bathroom. Perhaps your morning routine is a shave, a shower, a pass by Starbucks on your way to your desk for the next 10 to 12 hours. Perhaps there is a trip to the gym on your way home, or a pub, and then rushing to pick up your children at school or day care. At home it’s homework, or housework, meal prep for the rest of the family, children’s bedtime routine, a few minutes for your partner and then falling into bed for not enough time asleep.

Your pet or any mammal on the planet knows better.

From birth, every mammal is aware of the body, their body—because their survival depends upon their bodies, not their minds, not the weather, nor other members of their pack, herd, or extended family.

In addition, is their awareness that the survival of their species also depends upon their body and its ability to reproduce. Without human distractions, such as greed, lust, envy, and competition for status and power, the mammals maintain their awareness of their bodies from the first breath they inhale to their last exhalation.

During the day, your cat or dog’s awareness of their bodies continues in the forefront of their minds. An injury, an infection, an illness gets immediate attention. The body’s ability to perform the basics required to survive is the paramount value in every mammal’s life. When the animal senses a weakness or a vulnerability, all activity takes a back seat to healing their personal primary survival tool: their body.

When injured, your dog or cat will apply healing saliva to the open wound to prevent infection. When ill with a viral or bacterial infection, your dog or cat will retreat to a safe place to rest and sleep off the invader. When aging makes the end inevitable, the elder will not waste energy in futile attempts to escape his destiny, rather he will do what is necessary to survive for the remainder of his time on earth.

Tonight, pay attention to your pet’s nighttime routine. A dog will circle the den checking for snakes or poisonous insects before flopping onto the sleeping place to refresh their bodies in order to survive another day. Listen carefully. Preceding sleep will be a deep inhale followed by a loud exhale that guarantees total relaxation for a sound night’s rest.

What is your nightly routine?

A glass or two of wine, an hour of mindless media entertainment on your TV or PC, floss and brush your teeth, perhaps popping a few sleeping pills before falling asleep over a book, a magazine, or late night TV. Do you take the time to ease your body into sleep through meditation, yoga, breathing deeply or simply smiling about what a wonderful day you have just experienced and in anticipation of a better day tomorrow?

Mammals have one important and significant advantage over human beings, and that is their ability to “live in the now”. By being present in every moment of every day guarantees their well being and fulfills their purpose on the planet.

Body Knowledge contributes to fulfilling an individual’s purpose (for mammals lower on the food chain, it’s reproduction). Feral animals experience the purist form of body knowledge. Sensitivity to their physical well being contributes to the quality of life as well as their longevity. Domestication of any species creates space between the natural existence and a life imposed upon the animal by others.

As human beings, we are the most “domesticated” species in the food chain. Therefore, experience the widest gap between the body knowledge we were born with and the influences of our environment. As individuals, in order to conform to external rules, we learn to ignore our bodies, our intuition for guidance. Under the misconception that our survival depends on external elements, we widen the separation as we accept values and standards that are created by others.

If your life is less than perfect, it’s past time to return to the gift everyone was given at birth: body knowledge. Pay attention to your body again.

As your awareness of your physical well-being increases, so will your overall comfort level. Respect your body, listen to it, take the time, and spend the energy to make it feel good not just on the weekends or vacations, but every day for the rest of your life.

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Today, I’ve got two quick stories for you.  Which one sounds more like you?   

The Elizabeth Scenario

You have the whole day off to do whatever you want.  You wake up, have some breakfast, drink some coffee and then settle for a long day of sewing and Law and Order.     You know you need to run a few errands and pick up the house and you keep telling yourself, “Just thirty more minutes, then I’ll get to that stuff…”       (…but you never do…)

The Susan Scenario

You wake up on a Saturday morning and you know that today is the day.  You’ve put it off long enough, and it’s time to settle down and do the taxes.    You start working and take little breaks here and there to chat with your husband, grab a glass of water, watch 10 minutes of a TV show, etc.  You’re creating some space to get away from what you’re working on, to free your mind and to see it with new eyes. 

After about three hours, you’re done with the taxes, you’re in a great mood, and you fix yourself some lunch.  The work is done and you did it on your own terms.

Which one sounds more like you?  There are pros and cons to both, obviously.  

Some people prefer to dive into something and work away at it for hours at a time.  Others like to chop up their work and give themselves breaks throughout the day.

The first group of people might get more stuff done, but be in a bad mood at the end of the day.  The other group of people might not get as much done, but be in a great mood at the end of the day.  

But what if you could have both?

If you want to hear more about how that’s possible, sign up for one of my April teleclasses.

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