BodyAwe

How to Attract Your Better Body Image with Coaching

Everyone knows the first answer to a personal question is rarely the best answer rather it’s the answer that comes off the top of your head when asked anything about yourself. For instance, “How are you?”, “Fine, or good, or OK” are the standard responses whether we have a fever of 101*, just received a speeding ticket, or are nervous about an upcoming job interview. To get to the central issue requires a few follow up questions, i.e. “really?”, “You don’t look ‘ok’”, or “Why are you sweating? It’s chilly in here.”

Your Best Friend would ask you those follow up questions. I know one thing for sure, when talking to yourself about your body, there is NEVER a follow up question, because you think you already know all of the answers about your own body, and some of those answers leave you feeling bad and therefore are not right.

In my years of coaching experience, I understand the hesitation in prying into those nooks and crannies of a painful past, shameful self-image, or reluctance to change behavior. However, if improving your body positive image was easy, there wouldn’t be all of those articles, interviews, speeches from celebrities and others about body pressure to be perfect. Not a perfect you, rather a perfect beauty like those you see in the media.

BASTA! ARRETTE! STOP!

Few of us have the courage or confidence to stand alone against the social pressures aimed at selling us perfection through various products and services, and yet, when we buy into that marketing, the results are like putting lipstick on a cat. The lipstick may be a beautiful color, applied artfully, and enhances the skin tone—but the lips still belong to a cat! It’s not enough to succumb to other people’s standards for other people for you to achieve confidence; the only way to have the presence confidence inspires is to discover it within yourself. That’s where your body has the knowledge to create the poise you seek. Now all you need do is access it.

The good news is you are not alone. You are not alone in your frustration to elevate your confidence through a better body image; not alone in feeling shame around those extra pounds; not alone in the fear that arrives with every new candle on your birthday cake; and not alone as soon as you make a habit of including your body in your everyday life. I mean learning to talk to her, listen to her, and share with her on a regular basis.

Until you master your personal body knowledge system, you will be missing all the benefits your body brings to everyday of your life. And that’s where a Coach comes in to guide you, support you, and help you accept yourself for the wonderful unique individual you are! When done well, it’s not a painful process rather it’s a delightful journey to self-discovery.

“And what else?” is there to the process…

“And what else?” is the body positive question to ask when you want to get to clarity. It’s the one question you should be asking yourself, and probably aren’t, in order to clarify how you and your body want to be in the world. Using the Law of Attraction, the practitioner identifies what she really wants for herself through the contrast to clarity process as it applies only to herself, not to some idealized version of someone else.

When you accept your body as your friend, in fact your bff (best friend forever), it’s a short step to feeling good about your appearance.

Friendship implies acceptance, as well as a sincere desire to want what’s in your friend’s best interest. Applying the contrast to clarity Law of Attraction principle works when you arrive at the answer that satisfies both of you, you and your body.

To achieve your positive body image faster:

• Include your body in the conversation
• Include the powerful question, “And What Else?” into the process
• Practice feeling good about yourself daily

PS: what begins on the inside, shows on the outside.

I encourage you to include your body in your search for clarity.

After attending my popular class by phone, ‘Resist exercise? Want to know Why?,’ my client Martha called to ask me to help her find an exercise or exercises that would work for her, long term.

“It’s not about “Just Do It!” I said quoting Nike’s famous slogan, “It’s about asking your body what she wants to do to accomplish the same thing.” I truly believe that when you learn to ask your body what she wants, the two of you will get on the same page, and start achieving the things you desire!

Using the contrast to clarity principle to narrow the possibilities, getting the answers from Martha and her body, we determined what movement suited BOTH of them to achieve a positive body image.

For instance:

• What movement makes you feel good?
• Do you prefer working out alone, with another or others?
• When do you enjoy exercise?

Let’s take the first question: What makes you feel good?

1. Sitting, and what else?
2. Walking, and what else?
3. Stretching, and what else?
4. Floating, and what else?
5. Scuba, and what else?

Soon, it became apparent that Martha was not into anything involving exertion, or sweat or at least, her answers didn’t indicate “exercise” in the physical sense of the word. So, it was time to include her body in the conversation.

After getting used to the idea of her body as separate, an equal, and full of great advice, Martha asked her body the same question:

What movement makes you feel good?

1. Moving gracefully, and what else?
2. Dancing, and what else?
3. Winning!, and what else?
4. Swimming underwater, and what else?
5. Body tired from productive motion, i.e dancing, tennis, Scuba

Aha! Martha’s body held the final answer for both of them: Productive movement, with or without an element of competition.

The second part of the important question is…..Listening for an answer

In personal and professional relationships, we all know the first answer is not the only answer, and rarely the best answer. That’s why remembering the question – And what else? as a follow up question always provides deeper answers until you reach the heart of the issue.

Listening for your body’s answer to the powerful question, “And What Else?” requires another shift in your perspective. It forces you to listen for the answer from your body rather than override her input with your first, second, or third response. Where your body image comes from is more than your thoughts and feelings about your body, it begins within your body and it’s time or past time you begin to listen to her to get to the final answer for both of you.

As comfortable as you are being in control of your life, include your body by asking her this follow up question so that you are forced to relinquish your power over her as you await her answer.  Better body image coaching is not an either/or, black/white, yes/no process between two opposing entities who have not communicated with each other since childhood. Rather it is a process of reestablishing the intimate relationship between you and your body you had as an infant—the most effective and efficient way to activate the Law of Attraction.

The answers to this question are between you and your very best friend, your body. So there’s no need to shy away from the difficult questions about what you want for your body, and perhaps are “afraid” to ask? The basic principle of improving your body image through coaching is total trust and ease of communication between you and your body. The openness between whatever question you ask of your body and the answers you receive will create the positive energy to actually accomplish your basic goal: Body Confidence.

Look Forward to Attracting, then Announcing Your Positive Body Image

Working with a body image expert coach can provide a short cut to the process of accepting your body as your Best Friend. Allowing the coach to repeat “And what else?” until you provide the real answer to the question in the safety of the relationship eases the transition to establishing the intimate relationship you and your body had at birth. Working with your body you understand what you do not want (contrast) and you become clear on what you do want and that clarity attracts it easily. When you include your body in the process, you double the positive energy behind your unified efforts to reach the same goal.

The simple tool, the question ‘and what else?’ allows you to go beyond the superficial into the heart of your desires, not someone else’s desires for you. Acknowledge your individuality when applying the Law of Attraction to achieving what you want out of life, when your goals are authentic and true to you, that positive energy glows!

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